Clarkson's Farm

Clarkson’s Farm Season 2: Ultimate Episode Guide As Jeremy Clarkson Gets Back In Tractor Seat

Season 2 of Clarkson’s Farm will be here on February 10 and promises to be even better than the first as Jeremy Clarkson and his rag tag group combat the public, the council, and the government. This Clarkson’s Farm Season 2 episode guide will show you what to expect when it’s finally released with minimal spoilers.

People returning from Season 1:

Clarkson’s Farm Season 2 Guide

Short Synopsis:

Another year in the life of Diddly Squat Farm, run by Jeremy Clarkson, Britain’s best-known but least-qualified amateur farmer. In an effort to increase his annual profit (£144 last year) he’s diversifying, in the shape of cows, more chickens and his own restaurant.

Long Synopsis:

Jeremy Clarkson, Britain’s best-known but least-qualified amateur farmer is back! Another year in the life of Diddly Squat farm begins, and all the regular characters are still here, helping Jeremy as much as they can: Kaleb’s on hand to show him How to Actually Run a Farm, Lisa’s running the shop, Charlie’s always ready to deliver more brutal home truths, and Gerald’s still Head of Security, with his own unique way of expressing himself.

With farmers across the country facing the impact of Brexit and the impending loss of subsidies, all are forced to diversify and Jeremy’s got big plans: he wants a herd of cows, he wants a load more chickens, and he wants his own restaurant where he can serve up a menu entirely made up of Diddly Squat produce, with the ambition of increasing his annual profit from last year (£144). All farms are busy, but this one is about to get a whole lot busier…

Ellis O’Brien / Prime Video

EPISODE SYNOPSES

EPISODE 1 – SURVIVING

Short Synopsis:

Jeremy Clarkson sets out to diversify, as a way of increasing his annual profit (£144 last year)

Long Synopsis:

The harvest season is about to hit Jeremy again – weather permitting. But that’s not the biggest challenge he’ll face this farming year; the fallout from Brexit means UK farmers face uncertain futures, with subsidies disappearing and little or no guidance from the government about where to concentrate their efforts. The only thing that is certain is that farmers now need to diversify, so Jeremy’s got plans to do just that. With the aid of Cheerful Charlie, Jeremy’s soon shopping for a herd of cows, a new flock of chickens and an on-site restaurant where he can sell Diddly Squat produce.

EPISODE 2 – COWERING

Ellis O’Brien / Prime Video

Short Synopsis:

Jeremy’s new herd of cows settle in, but soon reject the fence that keeps them in…

Long Synopsis:

Jeremy’s new herd of cows are settling in, and although they’re less crazy than last year’s sheep, they possess a similar disrespect for fencing, and are soon going places they shouldn’t go, including a neighbours farm. The range of produce for the restaurant-to-be is still growing, as Jeremy and Lisa choose varieties of chillies they can grow and turn into chilli sauce. It seems the ones they’ve chosen are too volcanically hot though, when they incapacitate a chef and make members of the public weep. In the interests of producing beef – to go with the chilli sauce – Jeremy pays for his two heifers (Dini & Pepper) to be artificially inseminated.

EPISODE 3 – SCHMOOZING

Ellis O’Brien / Prime Video

Short Synopsis:

Faced with Council powers that be, Jeremy uses two of his greatest skills: diplomacy and respect for red tape.

Long Synopsis:

Jeremy comes face to face with Planning Officers from West Oxfordshire District Council, to discuss his idea of turning his Lambing Barn – now empty because his sheep are being looked after by another local farmer – into a restaurant. Red tape and Jeremy don’t mix (and it appears there’s going to be reams of it here) but he also has to bring the Chadlington locals on side. Famous for his diplomacy, Jeremy initiates Operation Hearts & Minds, doing good deeds for the village and sponsoring the local football team. Farming jobs still have to happen though, and soon Jeremy and his precious Lambo are drilling crops in a foggy field with a telegraph pole slap bang in the middle of it. There can be only one winner.

EPISODE 4 – BADGERING

Ellis O’Brien / Prime Video

Short Synopsis:

Jeremy Clarkson comes face to face with his nemesis: the badger.

Long Synopsis:

The list of farming perils for Jeremy continues to grow, when Dilwyn the vet lays out the uncomfortable truth about Bovine Tuberculosis that could kill one or all of his new cows. It’s often spread by badgers, and Tom the ecologist shows Jeremy evidence that clearly shows Diddly Squat to have some unwelcome visitors. These are worrying times, and that’s before there’s a nasty moment with a potato slicer when Jeremy tries making crisps, but there’s some very welcome balm in the shape of a new lager that’s being made with Diddly Squat barley by local brewer Rick. It’s now ready for tasting. So Jeremy does. A lot.

EPISODE 5 – COUNCIL-ING

Ellis O’Brien / Prime Video

Short Synopsis:

The day of the Council’s decision on Jeremy’s restaurant arrives…

Long Synopsis:

The results of the TB test are in…but just as important is the fact that numerous calves are scheduled to be born in the next couple of weeks. The first few happen very quickly in the dead of night before Jeremy’s woken up, but soon he and Kaleb are dealing with some very challenging situations. Jeremy also meets local farmers to discuss a farmers’ co-operative to supply the restaurant – much-needed by some who are really struggling – because the clock is counting down to Decision Day, when the Council will hold a public meeting to decide the fate of Jeremy’s restaurant. The day arrives. He and Charlie set off to put their case to the powers that be. Is it a Yes? Or is it a No?

EPISODE 6 – COUNSELLING

Ellis O’Brien / Prime Video

Short Synopsis:

The fall-out from the Council’s decision continues to fall out…

Long Synopsis:

Everyone’s still reeling from the council’s decision and its implications: the money Jeremy’s spent on cows for the restaurant, the locals who won’t find work there now and the farmers’ co-operative that’s now defunct. Charlie sets out to find a legal team to help Jeremy appeal the decision, as Jeremy and Kaleb get to work on tagging the new calves and attempting to navigate a government helpline where you’re supposed to register them. There are other useful distractions from the council in the shape of Diddly Squat’s Hedge Laying Competition and a mouse that brings the whole farm to a standstill. The legal team that Charlie has assembled pay a visit. They outline their strategy for the appeal, but also the costs that come with it…

EPISODE 7 – SCHEMING

Ellis O’Brien / Prime Video

Short Synopsis:

Jeremy’s restaurant idea is re-born, and there’s not a moment to waste…

Long Synopsis:

Spring has sprung at Diddly Squat Farm, and that heralds the release of cows and chickens from their Winter captivity. Jeremy’s restaurant plans are in tatters, but that’s not the end of his dealings with the council, who are also sending letters raising issues about what’s being sold in the shop itself. From here on in, Jeremy decides that he and all around him must operate in a world of loop-holes and just-within-the-law cunning wheezes. Pepper the prized heifer still isn’t pregnant and her last chance saloon arrives in the shape of a bull called Break Heart Maestro. A chat with Alan the builder provides a Eureka Moment: the restaurant idea is not dead after all! There’s much excitement as building work begins and Jeremy
meets a chef called Pip. There’s less excitement when he has to take his first steer to the abattoir.

EPISODE 8 – CLIMAXING

Ellis O’Brien / Prime Video

Short Synopsis:

Secret preparations accelerate for the opening of Jeremy’s restaurant…

Long Synopsis:

Jeremy’s restaurant opens in a matter of days, but it’s all on the QT. Jeremy does not want the council to find out until just before it opens. Which is why Jeremy and Kaleb are laying pipes for water and electrics across a field in the dead of night. Pepper the heifer is still very much alive and is enjoying the company of Break Heart Maestro a lot. Two days until Restaurant Opening Day, Jeremy informs the council and it’s game on: Alan and his team of builders work at full throttle, Pip and her team of chefs do too, and the blend of excitement and panic is affecting everyone. The day itself arrives. Will the Diddly Squat Farm Restaurant sink or swim? Or will the council shut it down before the first steak hits the grill?

Big thank you to the Clarkson’s Farm team for giving us this insight into the future of the show.

Clarkson’s Farm Series 2 launches Friday 10th February 2023 on Prime Video.

Alex Harrington

Alex started racing at a young age so certainly knows his way around a car and a track. He can just about put a sentence together too, which helps. He has a great interest in the latest models, but would throw all of his money at a rusty old French classic and a 300ZX. Contact: [email protected]

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