The Grand Tour

Jeremy Clarkson Fights Back At His Local Council After Causing A Commotion With His Farm Shop

Jeremy Clarkson has a long history of getting on people’s nerves. He’s been involved in several controversies which we’ve covered in full on this site, and sometimes his behaviour has gotten him kicked off of shows such as Top Gear – I’m sure you remember that ‘fracas’. Now, in a recent column, he has documented all of the issues he’s had with his council after he opened his farm shop on Diddly Squat Farm.

“My shop had only been open a few days when we received a stern letter warning us that our rather lovely ice cream had been made from the juice of cows that lived eight miles away, in Gloucestershire, and that this contravened a clause that said that we could only sell produce from West Oxfordshire,” he writes, beginning a long rant on how the council has made running his business much more difficult than it should have been.

He goes on to explain that they’ve questioned him on incredibly stupid little changes such as the roof being the wrong colour, or a sign being very slightly too large. He’s also been told that he can’t sell teas of coffees at his shop, and that silly things such as the “gingham covering on the straw bales contravenes Covid regulations”. It’s really been difficult work for Clarkson, who has been battling against the council for almost a year now on these small issues.

He rounds this up very simply: the council is too traditional and out of touch. He says:

“All of which just goes to show how out of touch these guardians of the 19th century are. Because, these days, if you really want to attack something (or a royal family) you have to accuse it of causing mental health issues, or say that it’s racist. It’s not enough simply to say that the milk is from the wrong postcode.”

If you didn’t notice, he throws a quick jab at Meghan Markle, who he’s been poking for a few weeks now.

He continues, explaining how he never had this sort of issue in London where he used to live, but he does admit that it’s not everyone who makes him feel this way. It’s only the odd few who object.

He ends the column with a remedy:

“Could that not be solved by posting the names and photographs of those who’ve objected on the community notice board? Or maybe we should make them walk round in Day-Glo baseball hats. I think that would help make village life as pleasant as you think it is.”

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